“First love, is the love that clings to your heart forever, no matter how much pain it has caused, no matter how many tears have fallen, first love never leaves your soul.”
It is a story of a girl named Shruti, a girl in her early twenties, whom I met during my journey to Delhi, she was sitting near the window seat when I entered the coach n searching for my seat no.! I saw her lost in her thoughts n so I just sat beside her waiting for her to look at least so that I can give a smile n start talking something, else just sitting n not chattering kills me ! I saw a pretty strange kind of calmness on her face, but it could not hide her sadness, which made me all the more interested that I should talk to her.
After a while as train started moving she regained herself n smiled at me ! Oh thank God !I was only waiting for that moment, finally she smiled n that too in kind of friendly way !that made our journey !!
After asking lot about each other ,I got the idea of her personality quite clear ,that she is very sweet girl ,quite optimistic n cheerful !love to live n enjoy every moment like me
In a very short span we became very good friends like as we are old buddies !we started revealing our secrets to each other n was laughing at every joke !then a most awaiting topic “love” came over ..!As far as I m concerned I usually avoid discussing this topic but the gloominess on the girl with the traits like her, literally forced me to know more n more about her! Were her eyes revealing everything or it was her words which were constantly making me curious to know what might have happened with her???
Tears started rolling down her cheeks , it seemed her tired eyes didn’t want to cry but still for some reason she was not able to control herself, and cried like a baby! After a long pause ,she started with her part
“ I met him an year back on net , that too was a coincidence or may be destiny that brought us together ! I had never talked to any stranger online before ,being my 1st time ,I tried to be very casual though never lied and was expecting the same from him too ! Whatever he said was bought by me without even a single doubt ! N believe me he was quite impressive at the very 1st meet …we shared likes and dislikes so the ‘destiny part’ started working somewhere in the remotest part of my brain !talked like as if we were only waiting to meet each other for so long coz we were quite similar in every way !ALAS! He is a guy n I m only a girl! ..
lolzz n often we laugh over this ! I was only fond of a good n healthy friendship n so was quite frank in my way as I m with my all friends ! But may be he started liking me …he used to say always that” I like every aspects of your personality ! U r a wonderful person “! As time passed on he started dropping me some hints ,but I always ignored n switched the topic to new 1… we started chatting for long n long hours till late nights !discussing books, politics, movies, music n all …spent a precious time together! Which at least I can never forget! We exchanged our numbers n now it was a whole day chatting over phone or calling and all!
Its very aptly said that “ u never know when u fall in love ,it can never be decided ,it all just happens ,its blind “ n so happened with me ..I also fell in love with him ! In a blind love ..coz I haven’t seen him yet ,never met him ! I read somewhere “true love never needs 2 body ,2 faces but only 2 souls feeling 4 each other is enough” N now I was true follower of this theory ! Happy to find my “SOULMATE” ! Though never dared to express !
Meeting sm1 online ,without knowing him in person n talking to him all the time can sound idiotic of me to you .But when we talk “WE” are just “WE”! After 5 months,1 fine day he expressed his love n I was so happy but was confused at the same time so didn’t said anything !He understood my confusion I guess so didn’t compel me to reply soon ! He became more loving n caring n I liked that !Each passing day made me love him more !It was very pious feeling we were having so finally the moment came when I told him how much I love him n we became more closer than before!
We completed 1 year of our togetherness! As I remember we had never fought ,neither he liked it nor I did! All was going perfect !Talking, laughing n loving was all our routine !We started planning our future ,our life when we will b together there forever 4 each other !!Sharing a very special bond with him !
He always used to say “I am his soulmate ,he wants me to be with him in every birth” .I always smiled hearing this !This is what every girls wants ..rite ?
One fine day when I came online to message him … I didn’t find his profile there! I thought something might be wrong with the server so I thought of calling him as I dialled his no. ,it said the no. you are trying to call doesn’t exist, left me blank !Don’t know what to do tried all his no. but the same response ..! I was shocked ,confused, furious all mixed emotions …!As far as I know him , he wouldn’t be able to live a single day without talking to me so I decided to wait for him to contact me !Each passing second was making me more tensed but I had no other option than to wait coz I hardly had any of other person to contact n ask about him !Seconds changed to hours n hours to days but he had not shown yet!
There was a time when they both loved each other a loads! But today she wasn’t sure of his feelings for her ,whether he still loved her or not ?whether he ever loved her ??she always thinks to herself ..can person also fake his feelings? N if yes then for how long yaar ?? Can that every beautiful words he said to me were lie ? Can all those loving words are fake n lie ?? But maybe she loved him a lot that her heart just denies all her questions n gives an affirmative answer !! The more she thinks about him the more she loves him! N so she lost her battle with her mind n moved with loving him but with broken heart !!
When u start to learn live without some1 u love unconditionally , even though deep down inside your heart, u know that- that’s not gonna be easy , but it’s the only option you are left with …so you opt for it ..but does it mean that you have forgotten your love? All your sweet memories with him ?All those precious moments you live with each other ? I think the only answer your heart will give you is “No” ..m I rite? Yaah though she moved on in her life but she never lived a single moment without him !she always thinks about him ,all their sweet conversation which always bring smile on her face accompanying tears in her eyes n eventually she started loving that rare combination coz that makes her feel that her love is true n divine ! That’s the really special feeling for her ,she always thanked God for making her the kind of person she is ..loving a single man throughout her life !!
To love someone does not mean to commit with that person, Sometimes you just have to be satisfied with whatever connection you have with that special one
In pursuit of finding our true love sometimes we enter a virtual world ,feel everything just like the fairy tale but when the person walks away we neither belong to the real world nor to the virtual ..we r just LOST!! Just the same way Shruti lost herself to a person who potentially never existed!!
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